Can you believe this is my 10th blog post as a freelance writing business owner? I am so excited every week to come here and share the amazing stuff I’m learning on this journey.
If you’re paying close attention, you might have noticed that this is my second post this week when thus far the schedule has been to publish my content here once a week.
Aren’t you the observant one! Well, I’ll tell you why I’m posting again: it’s because I’ve set myself a writing goal to post a blog every day this week. That’s right! And I’m not imposing any limits or planning out the topics ahead of time, so there’s no telling what will appear in any of the posts that I’ll be writing in the next few days. And that, to me, is a fun thing to look forward to.
Since this is my TENTH post, a milestone of sorts, I thought it would be interesting to share some insights from my personal journal. I did a brief journal excerpt in the blog I published yesterday, but once I got to flipping those pages, I had the idea to write a post consisting entirely of journaled thoughts.
So without further ado, may I present entries from the past few months from my personal journal.
“For the first time since I enrolled in the writing school, I feel like I dropped the ball this week. I didn’t set any goals, so guess what, I didn’t accomplish any goals. I didn’t complete the exercise Heather recommended in our last coaching session which is pretty lame. Last night I got excited about a presentation Will mentioned needing content for and I got to creating slides on Canva, but … that fizzled out when the necessity of the project became nonexistent and I wasted time I could and should have used to either write samples or the exercise Heather recommended.”
“I know I’m getting in my own way, and I think I’m close to figuring out what the reason is. I think it goes pretty deep. I find myself having feelings of something like unworthiness and embarrassment for wanting to live an amazing life of my own design. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“I see what people mean when they say they’d rather quit than push through these shitty feelings and make it to the other side. It’s so freaking uncomfortable. And it’s the kind of shit you have to work through until … and who knows when until will happen for me. There’s no way to know. I compare this a lot to the journey I took with exercising and losing weight. In the same way, all you can do is take the steps and do the work and have faith that the results will come. Sounds easy, and maybe in reality it is, but there are definite mental struggles that happen that make it so much harder.”
“Discomfort itself has been a running theme in my life for almost three months now – ever since making the decision to become a freelance writer and enrolled in The Freelance Writing School.”
“I’m not worried about quitting freelance writing because I made the decision already and I don’t go back on decisions. I am bothered by what feels like repetitive mental blocks, slowing down my progress. Each time I feel like I’ve gained some ground it’s like my brain goes, “not so fast” and stirs up some more shit for me to sift through. I get frustrated to the point of tears, and I’m sick of crying, while at the same time trying not to judge myself for crying, and then sometimes it snowballs into focusing on what I’m unhappy with instead of all the things that really are great about my life.”
“Because I am highly sensitive (HSP) and have so many emotions flying around all the time, it can be hard to know which ones are noise, manufactured by stories I’ve told myself and which ones need a legitimate examination to be able to move forward.”
“One other thing I’ve accomplished in recent memory that required a complete mind-shift was losing weight and getting healthy and fit. Doing that successfully took time, experimentation and patience. I can see those factors also coming into play when one decides to start a business.”
“I don’t remember it being this hard when I decided to get in shape. ”
“The journey to better health and fitness took commitment in the very beginning, yes, but it also took deciding, again and again, to remain on that path. It took carving out time for it in the time you have left when you consider your mandatory daily tasks. It took dedication to show up for yourself over and over even when you didn’t feel like it or sometimes actively hated it. Showing up tells yourself, ‘I’m here for you no matter what and we can do this. We will find a way. Even if that way is having a 4am wake-up time to fit in workouts before work, we will find ways to make the best of it and make it sustainable over the long-term.’ These are both long games, fitness and business building. There’s no rushing getting in shape if you want it to last and I’m sure the same goes for creating a business from nothing.”