Everyone tries to escape feeling fear. I personally find myself uncomfortably confronting my fears on a regular basis. Dang, maybe I have a lot of fears… But that’s what happens- fear makes us feel uncomfortable, and uncertain, and it makes us have doubts, so we’d really rather not feel it at all, okay?? Fear plants us in the hot seat, and we immediately start squirming to get out of it.
Often, we then change the story we tell ourselves to one where we don’t seem afraid, but more than that – so we don’t have to examine WHY we’re afraid in the first place. “ Oh, I wouldn’t have time to do it, anyway.” “I’m not the kind of person who could pull that off.” “It’s more than I can handle right now.” We’re the same people running to Pinterest or Instagram for the latest inspiration about fearlessness. Be fearless in the pursuit of your goals, be fearless while chasing your dreams.
I’d make the argument that the concept of being fearless is precisely what holds a lot of people back. At least, it did me.
An expectation of fearlessness has held me back not only from pursuing and accomplishing, but even from trying. TONS of times. In the past, I’ve quit on my goals before really approaching the starting line. I never gave myself a real chance. If we expect to feel fearless as an indicator that we are doing The Right Thing, how would anyone expect to accomplish anything of value? Things worth working for are scary! Big decisions are scary! Why wouldn’t you feel afraid? If what you’re doing is a big freaking deal to you, you’d be inhuman not to feel any fear. Rather than expect a fearless attitude to wash over us at the moment we make A Big Decision, I think there’s something to be said for doing shit afraid.
Take this blog, for example. Last week, I threw it up rather haphazardly – I told myself it was so I could secure the name, but really, is anyone fighting over ‘Kacey Hayes Writes’? In reality, I jumped to take advantage of the momentum I felt from making A Big Decision of my own. I created this blog post-haste, before my dear subconscious had time to second-guess, doubt, and eventually get me to crap out on myself; to change my story to “It wasn’t that important to me anyway.” That’s my pattern when I’m afraid.
At the time of this publishing, as a matter of fact, I still have the generic WordPress template up. The stock mountain range photo is very nice and all, but it was killing me not to immediately customize every aspect to my liking. To be honest, it made me nervous to just leave it that way – even for now. “It’s not perfect! What will someone think if they run across it?” But feeling fearless before I reach out to you is not what is important.
What is important is that I am brave, and get my message out without waiting for Perfect to arrive (he’s a notorious flake, anyway).
Like I said, I made A Big Decision last week and had to take the plunge. That means taking action now, as-is. I am pursuing my goal of starting a freelance writing business. After discovering The Freelance Writing School Podcast with Heather Deveaux, I enrolled in her course at The Freelance Writing School, and I’m beyond excited. She did not ask me to talk about the course, nor do I get any benefit from doing so other than patting myself on the back for pointing you her direction, because she’s awesome.
I don’t have much writing experience outside college assignments and a year-long stint doing paralegal work. But I’ve had enough of seeing people no smarter than I am living their best lives while I stood by and watched, thinking to myself, “Why not me?”
Hell yes, I’m scared! I decided to be brave, and that always means doing the thing afraid.
My plans for this blog aren’t terribly lofty. I don’t intend to become famous. Setting out to become a freelance writer and make a real living at it seemed like it could make for interesting reading! As such, we shall see if I am up to the challenge. I also hope to connect with other writers who might be on the same beginner freelance path, or who are already established in the freelance writing world. Or really just any creative people in general, I’m not picky. Anyone putting things out there into the world and loving their life while doing it. I don’t know many writers yet and would love to be part of a community.
Maybe that can start with you! If you liked this debut blog post and/or have any suggestions for future blog posts, or just want to say hello, please leave me a comment! I’d love to hear from you.