Who are you becoming?
It’s an important question. It’s a question I’ve asked myself over and over the past six months since deciding to start my own freelance writing business and do it for real. Each time I’ve had a different answer, but each answer has, over time, contributed to a fuller, more realistic picture of the person I want to be. Sometimes I’m taken by surprise noticing the things that no longer interest me, and the new things I’m willing to do, and I know then that I’m getting closer to her – the version of myself I most truly want to be. My answers to the question of who I am becoming are clearing a path to get me there.
How to get answers
Well, first you have to ask the question, right? Do you know who you’re becoming? We’re all becoming something, all the time, because to be a living human is to experience change. When was the last time you checked in with yourself? I mean really, consciously took a moment to pause, examine the thoughts you are having, and noticing what feelings those thoughts are causing. Does the idea of doing that make you uncomfortable? That in itself can be an answer. Our thoughts determine our actions, and being unaware of our thoughts often means we aren’t taking action to move forward.
Who do you WANT to be?
Six months ago when I realized I had the choice to be a participant in my own life instead of continuing to let life happen to me, I was mindblown. You mean, I can just up and decide who I want to be? Just like that? Yes, you can. Routines and work and family and friends and hobbies and life, in general, create a steady energetic hum that can take our focus away from our inner voice- if we let it. But it’s still there, inside, speaking to you, waiting for you to ask the question you’ve been dying to know the answer to.
Becoming who you want to be
Start thinking from the place of the person you want to be. Make decisions in the present based on how your future self would make those same decisions. Get to know the person you want to be. What kinds of things get you excited? What do you spend most of your time doing? What kind of money are you making? What kinds of goals are you setting and achieving? Find out the character of the person you want to become and make decisions in alignment with that person.
I have become the kind of person who does what she says she’s going to do, who maintains a high level of consistency, who has integrity and is a supportive and empathetic friend and partner. I still want to become a person who makes decisions without second-guessing, who learns useful things from her mistakes without guilt or shame, and who doesn’t worry about her accomplishments being perfect but celebrates the fact that they are, in fact, accomplished.
It really is up to you. Who do you want to be? If you’re like I was, you already know you want to move forward, but keep getting stuck on the ‘how.’ I had no idea how to stick to a healthy lifestyle when I started out, but give it enough time and you’ll find what’s possible. Two years later and I’m here, on the other side of the struggle. You can defeat your obstacles, too.